Today

I miss London, England more than usual (I really cant say 'more than ever', because I am always missing it and well the moment I miss it like that, Ill go bunkers and I might purchase a ticket right there and then) I love London. I seriously wish I could just have the money and the time to fly there and visit the peeps I love who I know still live there and go to places where I used to be. I miss the streets, every single one, each street has a story like each building has mystery. London full of beauty, fashion, uniqueness and past. I miss walking to school each morning. Smelling the fresh air. Walking (well... sometimes running) with my headphones, rushing thru the crowd of people. Waiting for the bus of hopping on the tube. Walking down Oxford Street, Regents, then New Cavendish to get into Soho and so on till I would get home Leicester square! :) Loved Walking at night watching the moon. Walking thru the parks feeding the ducks. Enjoying the amazing London Weather. LOVE it. OK enough of that. London I miss you today! :)

Its Official!

Him and I are together! and well... Loving it! Loving every single second of it! :) It appears we cant get enough of each other. I haven't been able to get my beauty sleep for quite a while because I am to busy enjoying time with my boy. (Because he is mine, you know? and well... I am his!) Its funny because we think alike, quiet moments are not weird, I can totally be myself with him (you know that kid that comes out every day) and we can just say the most beautiful things to each other :) Is kind of fast but I have no doubt in my heart he is here to well... stay :) Do you see all the smiles that are spreading in this post? :) That's my happiness radiating in it. I met his Fam. last weekend and they are so great and the way he was with his nieces and nephews blew me away. I love it. He is so sweet :) I can only imagine!
So... Since he introduced me to some of his family, I will be introducing some of mine this next weekend when my sister comes to the Springs that are Hot like Lava :) and we are going up there to be with them :) Love it! I really do like him, well... Let me take that back. I do not like him any more, because now this feeling is more than JUST liking. I cant wait to see him tonight and the night after that. :) I know this is lame but I need to share true happiness after so much unneeded pain! :)

Life thus far

Has been pretty exciting. I have learn so much! I have let go and I am moving on. Its not official yet... But I am dating this wonderful guy. He makes me feel so cared for. I assume he likes me a lot. He calls me his Princess, Sexy, Beautiful, you name it. Sweetie, Sunshine, etc. etc. Love it. He makes me feel so wanted and special. Everything has happen so quickly, but you know what? I like him a lot and for the first time in many years I feel like I don't have to hold back on my feelings I don't have to hide I don't have to pretend like everything is OK and that it will get better. For the first time I have someone that is ONLY mine and LOVE it. He  is big and strong and I love his smile, his honesty, his determination, etc. etc. Crazy but we've hung out for days already and it feels so good. He brings smiles to my face and well kisses or course! All I am trying to say is that he is pretty awesome and yes, we are taking it as it comes. But we do have tons of fun together. So... If at the end of the day it doesn't work out. At least I had an awesome time while it lasted. :) Not that is coming at all, cause, well... We like each other so much we cant get enough of it. So here's to us and new beginnings. Also I am glad he is not my rebound, my rebound lasted NOT long at all. But at least he help me get over things and out there and bless his soul I hope he is happy with his girl too. He is an awesome boy and so he deserves the same (that is an awesome girl). As for me... for sure moving forward.

My brother is already in Afghanistan he sends greetings to all fellow blogger and stalkers! :) Here's a pic for you guys and the email my mom got.

Mrs. Garcia,
 
I am a pilot for the United States Air Force and wanted to personally send you a note letting you know that your son arrived in theater safely.  We had Oscar sit up front on the flight deck with us where he was able to relax as he made his journey.  It was a pleasure flying him to his destination and getting the chance to know him, please see the attached photo. 
 
It has been a tradition for me to have our youngest/newest soldier sit up front with us.  Because I have children back home, I know how it can be hard when you don't have direct contact with them.  This is the most I can do to help ease the concerns of family members back home.  In addition, I want to thank you and your son for the service that both of you are committed to in supporting and defending our country.   
 
Very Respectfully,
 
Capt James "Hud" Hudson


Ciao for now X

U.S of A Hero

I have decide to dedicate a post to the most amazing, funniest, caring, big hearted boy I know and love. My little Kakita, chorrio, popis, poop, etc. etc. etc. I have had the pleasure of being his sister for this long and well... I LOVE HIM to death!

This boy...

Who makes me laugh every time, I laugh with him, I laugh at him and still remain so loved.

This guy is a bad boy with the heart of GOLD, seriously I am not kidding.

I know this will sound dumb and in a way probably make him want to punch me for saying this. But he is the kind of brother who will still stay with you at night if he feels like it.

He is the kind of boy who will defend anything or anyone. He is the one with the one and million laughs. He will love you for ever.

Granted, because of him, I Lidia Garcia have suffer greatly. Thanks to the fact that he would blame me for everything in front of my parental units and since he was the baby everyone would believe him. You know, the luck of the family's baby. Of course they will believe when it comes to the middle one being the problem or when I would hit him ONLY after he would hit me FIRST. I would get all the blame. Uh and I hated him for that! (I love him though!). He is the boy who will send you a pic of his poop via text message. :) LOL but in all seriousness what brother doesn't do that? I have heard worst stories. He is the one who would buy $50 worth of candy and eat it in an hour. You will not meet anyone who likes sugar more than my brother. He who kept Garcia-Figueroa as his last name only to honor my grandfathers memory. (Since he never had any sons). My brother who learned to drive before I did. who would help my dad in anything even if he didn't want to. My brother who secretly thinks he is the white power-ranger. The cool boy, the one that everyone loves.

He the boy who always fight with me over baby pictures saying he was me! :)

(Me...Cute)

                                           

(Him... We can Obviously see the resemblance)

Now, in one day he will be sent to Afghanistan to help and protect fellow brothers and this county. This is probably one of the hardest things I've had to do. ACCEPT it. Ever since he was born all I have wanted to do is protect him. He wanted to be a Firefighter, I said no. You will burn. He wanted to be a police man, I said no. You will get shot. He wanted to be an airplane pilot, I said no. The plane will fall. So... you can see it brings tears to my eyes accepting what he chose. Because I cannot protect him there. He will be far away and I wont be able to be there for him. 

So all I can say, Is Gordo... I love you so much. I will miss you, so please keep in touch. I don't know what I will do with out you. So please, please, please be careful. I love you and I need you! Please come back safe. Be smart. Be Fast. Be Strong. We all love you and will be waiting for you! I am so proud of you. even though you are still my baby brother. I love you and I still want to protect you even if I cant. Our Heavenly Father WILL be with you and the people around you. The spirit will guide you and many will be praying for you including people who don't know you, only because of the great courage you have. Te AMO....

The Few. The Proud. The Marines.

Of course there is so much more about him I have not shared with you. But trust me when I say, I would never finish if that was the case. 

I must

update my blog at least once in a while, but in reality I guess I am too lazy. Not that I don't have good stories, its just that must of what I want to write about is the pain and sadness I still feel (for many different reasons of course, but pain and sadness none the less)

Almost a month and I still feel like going back and apologize for everything, although my head tells me not to. So I pray and I pray for the pain to go away. I have faith some day it will. It did once before, all i want is for it to go away for good. I cant keep thinking or wishing it was otherwise. I have done that before and it only destroys me. The only thing I hate is remembering stuff just by looking at things that once meant something to me. I guess that's why its harder. All in all, the only consolation I have would be that everyone on this earth goes thru that. Its part of life and we must endure to the end.

Things other than that have not been bad. Sad yes. But its because i love and well... We all know what love is essential in our lives so is not like we can just ignore the freaking feeling, right? LOL

I've been to Texas and loved it. Cause well... I didn't have to stay there for to long. (must clarify, that i would have loved to stay there way way longer, but uh the weather kills me!)

Not to much to say about that except that my family means the world to me and they are my strength. So let me show you a few moments from last last week! :)

My padre, who deserves his own post and he will get it. But he is such an inspiration I have to be honest I had never really notice. But he has a heart of a King and I love him.

My Madre who also has a heart of a Queen, the way she is, the culture she has, she is so proper and classy. She is my confident and best friend. Although she did get kind of mad when we gave her the option of serving pizza instead of Lasagna. Her answer was: If we are going to serve pizza go upstairs and change into jeans. LOL LOVE her.

My sister, my brother in law and baby Diego. Oh wait cant forget Goofy and Kanelo. After all they are part of the family along with my monster Kolatte.

and my brother, my hero, USA hero. He deserves a post of his own as well and that one is coming right after this one.

All I know is that we where born to be together. Everyone in the family is essential for the happiness of this unit. I could not have ask for a better dad, mom, brother and sister. and lets not forget the add-ons. LOVE THEM to bits.

        

RIP to My Best Friend

and to the love of my life. Today my friend is gone. Circumstances: Confidential/Painful.  Not knowing my best friend's destiny, we parted ways. My best friend was loved, deeply loved by me. But today he is gone. Sounds like a scary story, it might just be. I feel like I might die with him as well. Sadly he left with out a Good Bye. But here are my goodbyes to you.

Dear Best Friend, I love you. I would have done anything to keep you close and alive. ANYTHING. Reality is, I was the ONLY one willing to do it and when I realize you would not do the same. It hit me hard, like a bullet. Granted. I do not know the pain that comes with a bullet wound. But this is pretty close if not worse. After this kind of wound, sadly I didn't die, I was just in serious pain. But you did. You lived in me and I now you are gone. 

I cannot stop crying, I cannot. My eyes are filled with tears, that your painful death left. So many times I tried so hard to keep you alive, but tonight you are gone. And you will get mad and sad I did this to you. But you wont do anything about it. You are 6 feet under and gone. You will accept it, because you feel like you don't deserve better. Like you don't deserve my happiness in your life. Like you did this and you deserve it. The sad thing though, is that is the truth.You have hurt me in every way possible. You have disappointed me like no one has. You have made me feel like I am not worth anything. You have made feel like I only deserve to wait. That it will never be my turn and that all has been my fault. That I am the one who should not be thinking of you! Guess what? I am so done! I cannot take this pain anymore. I have to let you go. It kills me to know that I am doing this because I want you alive and with me. But you my best friend are gone today. It's tragic. I though you where gone long time ago, to my surprise you came back, only this time you came for the last time. I was ok with your ghost . I really was. I was willing to accept everything and anything to keep you close to me. I guess it has never been enough because there is ALWAYS someone better than me. But again you will never come back, because you don't want to bring pain to my heart. Because you think you have done enough. Because you will NEVER do anything to change. Because first you have to change your pride and then your self-esteem, before you can ever think of loving again. I know that by this I am killing you a bit more and that means that you will never come back. You will stay like that. I hope you get what you want. I am no longer here. I was trying so hard to stay above water, but you have done everything to push me back in. I was so close to forget you. You had to come back and lie and hurt me. You are not the person who I though you were. You are not the person I want. You are not the person I lost. You are the person who is gone today because that's what you chose. I will be better with out you. But it hurts so bad I want to burn this heart that is in me today. I wanna stop having feelings for you. I wan to stop wanting you! I want all of this to stop. Again, Because of all of this I will be dead soon too. You will let me go. you will try to forget about me and you will. Peace out! If you EVER come back, come back as the man you want to be, as that man I love, as that man that we both can be proud of. I will understand if you never want to speak to me again. I have burn you and your pride and for that, you will NEVER forgive me. I am so sorry. You might even hate me. But you will NEVER do anything to change my mind, because you will accept everything I have said. I though you loved me. But you can be happy and I wont know. So be happy. But more than anything I want you to proof me wrong.

Post Edit: I really don't want to talk about it. I just need to vent.
P.E. 2: I needed to make some changes. It sounded kind of hard all the dying and killing! But the idea remains the same. Although, some times I feel like I need to go back and say I am sorry. It hurts me to think I have hurt him. If that is even possible.

In a few weeks...

Ill be heading home to see my family. I am so grateful for the place I work at, they have given me so much and are always willing to keep me happy! Life has def not been easy and most of you know why. But its just the right thing to do. AGAIN we cannot hope for change if we don't do anything about it and I can only do so much. Pain still lingers in my heart in fact I think they have become best friends. I have bee reading Eat. Pray. Love and its amazing how much I love his book. There are so many things I feel and she describes them perfectly.

"So tonight I reach for my journal again. This is the first time I’ve done this since I came to Italy. What I write in my journal is that I am weak and full of fear. I explain that Depression and Loneliness have shown up, and I’m scared they will never leave. I say that I don’t want to take the drugs anymore, but I’m frightened I will have to. I am terrified that I will never really pull my life together.

In response, somewhere from within me, rises a now-familiar presence, offering me all the certainties I have always wished another person would say to me when I was troubled. This is what I find myself writing on the page:
I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long. I will stay with you. If you need the medication again, go ahead and take it—I will love you through that, as well. If you don’t need the medication, I will love you, too. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and Braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.
Tonight, this strange interior gesture of friendship—the lending of a hand from me to myself when nobody else is around to offer solace—reminds me of something that happened to me once in New York City. I walked into an office building one afternoon in a hurry, dashed into the waiting elevator. As I rushed in, I caught an unexpected glance of myself in a security mirror’s reflection. In that moment, my brain did an odd thing—it fired off this split-second message: “Hey! You know her! That’s a friend of yours!” And I actually ran forward toward my own reflection with a smile, ready to welcome that girl whose name I had lost but whose face was so familiar. In a flash instant of course, I realized my mistake and laughed in embarrassment at my almost doglike confusion over how a mirror works. But for some reason that incident comes to mind again tonight during my sadness in Rome, and I find myself writing this comforting reminder at the bottom of the page.
Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a FRIEND…
I fell asleep holding my notebook pressed against my chest, open to this most recent assurance. In the morning when I wake up, I can still smell a faint trace of depression’s lingering smoke, but he himself is nowhere to be seen. Somewhere during the night, he got up and left. And his buddy loneliness beat it, too."
— Elizabeth Gilbert

That's just something that made me think and realize that in a way I feel the same, this book is so great and well it makes me remember Italy and why I love it so much. The reason why I should finish learning Italian and the reason why I should live there. Oh memories sometimes your best friend, sometimes your wost enemy. Reason as to why I still Love and Hate. Both such strong words, both so real.

I have so many stories I want to blog about but no worries Ill come back with pictures and fun stories!  :) Love you if you read my blog only if its the two of you! :)

Nadia Ali : Promises

All your promises, I've said before 
They're only words to fill the space, you won't explore 
All your promises, I'm so naive 
Because I wanted you and wanted to believe 
Like I've always done 

Where, where do we go, where do we go from here? 
After all the thoughtless things we said 
Where, where do we go, where do we go from here? 
Now that all the, all the love is dead 

You held the secret key straight to my soul 
I gave it all to you, you took more than you know 
Oh the bitter truth is that I'm better off without you 
And I still I know, to let you go will take me years to do 

Where do we go, where do we go from here? 
After all the thoughtless things we said 
Where, where do we go, where do we go from here? 
Now that all the, all the love is dead

As time goes by

the more I learn about life and its hidden mysteries in it. Although we want things so bad to go our way, its really not in our time but Gods time and all his wonderful blessings. Although we may think things are not bearable, he shows otherwise. True, I don't have what I want or what I desire at the moment but is making me stronger. I am amazed at how strong my heart is becoming. Not sure if its good or bad. Sometimes I feel like my heart is becoming a rock, like I don't care anymore and that anything can just pass by with out any reaction from me. But then... something happens and I remember I still have one and that is alive, in pain but alive. I cant wait to NOT be in pain. To be fulfill with love. I don't wish this on anyone at all. Not even my worst enemy, cause trust me she is the cause. But I don't wish it on anyone, not even her. (For being STUPID!!! like people on 'Family Feud' LOL)
Am I evil? Yes I believe I am. Its life.

When times get hard...

I just wanted to post this. Today for some odd reason I been feeling not so good, hence the previous post.

Anywho... I been off all day today because I fight with my heart and since my heart is stronger my mind get supper upset. Then logic comes in and well I end up having a medieval battle. Sad.

But I received and emailed today that made me smile a lot :) and then I felt better. Then I received a call, from this girl that work at one of the banks we do business with. I hardly knew her at all but long story short they let her go and so on Tuesday morning when I came in they just told me she was gone. Today I get that call. is her and she tells me this: Hey this is ... and I just wanted to say, it has been a pleasure working with you, you are so wonderful and I loved getting to know you. You made my job easier. You truly know what you are doing and I am glad they hire such a wonderful person like you. Your department took a 180 turn and I am glad they have you. Please keep up the good work you are a wonderful person.

That right there made me cry, I was in tears. I thank her and told her that I could not believe she actually though of me and that I hope she was ok and that if she needed anything I was there. Today, of all days she though of me and then she calls me to make me feel a million times better. To add to the blessings of the day they got Pizza so, I think even though you feel down and sad and somehow lonely, there is always someone truly thinking about you who actually cares.

So to my Amiga's I love you guys, I am glad you are in my life and I thank you for the support you give me while I go thru this calls broken. I am always thinking of you too.

P.S. Yesterday this guy taught me how to play Chess :) It was kind of boring but interesting in a way. LOTS of trick and thinking about moves. But all I could think was Harry Potter and the sorcerer's stone! :)

100th Post

Ok, so I don't have anything super exciting to blog about, time has been hard on me but gentle in a way! One month ago today was my birthday and it makes me feel like I am a month closer to 26, that's gotta be freaky, I already feel old as it is and well... I hate it.

Two weeks later or so... I fix my draft.
So like I was saying, time has been hard, constantly having a fight with myself is exhausting. I need to believe there is something better waiting for me. I guess I am just afraid of not feeling like I did. So scared, I panic all the time. I am trying so hard NOT to fall and find my way. I am the cause and I go in search of it.

Sometimes I wish I was a 'Who' and live in 'Whoville', they sure know how to have fun and enjoy their tiny little lives. I would have nothing to worry, except that I was in a clover. Then again maybe I wouldn't. You know how I feel right now? Like Jojo on the first scene


 
LOL But maybe I should be like Katie
 

 
I guess I just want to feel this: You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

Time

Is pretty much the best medicine, Time is what actually heals you, only time knows when the pain will be removed, is time who makes thing pass and make it only a memory or desire and our Heavenly Father is who created that time. Time runs, sometimes slow and a few times super fast. Basically Two weeks ago I turned 25 and it was snowing, Two weeks after, I am roasting like a turkey and thinking at least I am not in Houston, Cause I would be roasting like a pig.

I am felling so much better about life, a few bumps and bruises along the way but is nothing that cant be fixed. I have decided to let go and so... I will continue with a positive attitude.

So far I have applied for 3 volunteering opportunities. My first choice would be where I help Latin people to learn English, It would only be a few days during the afternoon and maybe Saturdays, My second choice would be the Salt Lake Library also in the afternoons and Saturdays and then my third choice would be the Provo Library, here I would only be helping on Saturdays or main events, yes, It is a bit of a drive but a change of scenery would not be bad once in a while! :) So hopefully I'll get contacted by one of them. I really wan to be doing something with my time and how wonderful would be to serve others! :) I am also Officially a Ward Member all my records are transfer and no more jumping from 9:00 to 11:00 :) I have officially enroll in Institute and start Wednesday, so... If you think about it, I will be a busy bee. But I love it. A lot of single adult activities which I will try and attend. Yay, lets mingle! LOL yea right, like I am a mingler! LOL But Ill try!  

So... My birthday was at Bucca, by far my fav restaurant. Italian of course. and with people that I absolutely LOVE.

Memorial day also has come and gone, Thank goodness for LONG weekends! :) It was fun, Monday We headed to Park City and went on the rides and then we headed to a celebration with Sam's Family and all we did was eat and lay in the grass! :)

I love Salt Lake, I Love my Baby Diego and I love Ferrero Rocher!!!

P.S. I Just got a call from my fist choice and I am taking it! Yay Ill be Volunteering on Mondays! Yay

Probably...

One of the worst nights on the book. I was left with my tears, my thoughts and my loneliness again. I don't blame anyone. I did this, so I had to do something about it. There's so much pain in my heart at the moment is pretty much unbearable. My eyes are tired. My mind needs rest. All I was able to do was pray and cry. Asking for forgiveness and clarity. Asking for peace, guidance and to make me strong, while my heart was been crushed all over again. Part by sadness, part by anger. I think what triggered it was an specific response that I can barely remember now, but it sounded something like: Of course, why not! My obvious response should have been: Because I though you loved me. Instead I felt sick to the point that my mind was blocked and his word were my tears. I could hear him but I was not listening. So if you ask me what was the rest of what he said I would probably say: I don't know. The only thing I can remember is him telling me that he was lost, he didn't know what he wanted and that he was having a really hard time in his life at the moment and that makes me want to heal his heart, makes me not want to leave him, makes me want to be by his side. Truth is I love him, his not mine, he will not be mine, I have to let go and believe that there is someone out there for me that will know I am worth keeping. I don't want to talk, I don't want to smile, I don't want to pretend. I just wish he could be strong enough to come back and have words to make me feel better. This is all I know, this is all I can remember. My pain, my tears, his face and that letter that is still in pieces on the back of my seat.

My Current Situation...-

As always heartbroken, screaming in silence, crying with out been notice, loving a ghost. I am constantly torn apart by my feelings, people, time, space, freedom. I am sick and tired of everything. I melt every time I am faced with walls I wished had doors. I cant help someone that does not want to be helped. Truth is I am a fighter and its hard to let go. I hate drama and that's why I ask for honesty. Instead I am pushed away and ignored. I know I sound dreadly pitiful, but please don't feel sorry for me, I AM the cause, the reason, the one who chose this. So please don't, is something I have to deal myself. How many times have I tried to walk away from something I know it will only bring me to tears at the end. I am so afraid of losing it. If I am not needed then why should I have the need. Why make him my priority when I am simply an option. I guess is NOT understood I am the one alone and left to the mercy of my thoughts.

Italia mia!

Oh I love Italy! It makes my heart warm and happy! If I could ask for one wish would be to live in Italia. Then I would not care about broken hearts and any other kind of crap! So I am making this promise, in 5 yrs from now,IF I don't get what I want I am moving to Italy. THAT is a PROMISE!!! :) I will live my last days in a wonderful place! and who knows maybe some Sexy Italian will come and sweep me of my feet! :) and we can live in a small villa on top of a hill full of olive trees and kids running around screaming CIAO BELLA MAMA!!! LOL wouldn't that be so cute? I can just picture myself cooking like crazy for my hard working husband and my Italian babies. Some bread, olive oil, cheese, tomato, basil, pasta, pizza, gelato and tons more! Uh isn't Italian Cuisine the best! I love it, just one more reason to live there among many others. Like the weather, the freshness feeling of life, everything green and old, something to look forward if things don't turn out the way I plan! and now that i think about it, option B sounds so much better! Uh steamy! :) Have you ever watch 'Under the Tuscan Sun'? Hands down one of my favorite movies minus the rated R parts. But Love it. Just yesterday I watched 'Letters to Juliet', Oh men, so cute! the scenery is beautiful, I was amazed by how beautiful Italy is. I have been there twice and Loved every single minute of it! Love the language, Love the people, the culture, their history and how happy and romantic they are! That's why I am calling my daughter Vienna Alessandra (or some other Italian City) and going to Venice for my Honeymoon, so forget about Paris, VENICE all the way!

im·pa·tience

–noun

1.lack of patience.

2.eager desire for relief or change; restlessness.

3.intolerance of anything that thwarts, delays, or hinders.

 

Lately I have notice that I suffer from this disease, truthfully that's how it feels. I have been so impatient that I really have to work on it. Is like my heart cant take it! I been like this since I was a little kid. I guess it developed due to my mother. Hahahahaha NOT that I am blaming her. Well maybe just a little, jajajaja, NO not really. See, whenever we would go and run some errands, my mom would always say: 'wait here, I wont take long' and like a good girl. I did. BUT that 'I wont take LONG' took for freaking ever. To the point that I started crying! because I was so upset about it. I guess I don't like to be told that something is going to happen in a certain way and it never does. Because I don't mind waiting if its 6:00 and they tell me they will be out at 10:00. I can wait 4hours without a problem, but please be out at 10. Cause if its 10:05 and you are not out I start to get upset, so IF 10:30 comes around and you are not with me, the next time you see me I'll be super upset or crying! Alright??? LOL But please oh please do tell me when you are planning to come out, because if i don't know it works even worst, because then I don't have a finish point and Ill be crying 5min after your gone! LOL

Now if you update me on things during that time then we are totally fine, as long as I am getting updates. You know me and my imagination might think you abandon me! LOL

 

“One has to wait without impatience for what should come, and yet at the same time do everything within one's power as though one were impatient and as though one were solely responsible.”

 

Oh today my roommates and I (well... Not sure about Kaycee) will run (Maybe, probably, mostly sure we will walk) a 5k. Don't know where yet though! But i guess is going to be fun!

I admire this woman with ALL my heart!

The one with the FRIENDS realization.

May is here, I don't want to say finally because it means that I will be 25 in... let me see... 19days. Wow and the only thing that I am maybe looking forward is lower rate on my car insurance IF i get it AND IF its true! I have plans to go skydiving, but that wont be till probably June. I am not freaked out about jumping out of a plane (I might be once I am up there) but I am at the landing! I am afraid my knees are just going to break, but I WILL do it just because I am cool like that! LOL

Life is going good so far (but like I said on prev post, with a few exceptions, not bad ones, just different). 

Love is a tricky subject for me. The love of my life is so close and yet so freaking far. I am so so so so Happy to know he is there. But is so hard to know I cant have him. I guess a lot of us go thru that, my case is a bit special. I like to call it my soap life, cause in a way, that is what is like! You know those stupid shows that never have an ending EVEN if the world knows you should be together but a series of unfortunate events take place? Well that is pretty much like it! I do love him and been the emotional, caring, loving person that I am, is pretty darn hard not to express those feelings. In a way I am trap to how much I can do. We know, we know and it goes two ways. He decides to do whats right for him, and in that right I either end loosing or winning. NOT that it is a game, BUT that's the only way I can phrase it. I wish so hard to be free to express myself without being locked.

On a different subject and along my Title line:

I guess I have always though I was a Monica, you know cause I am a bit of a clean freak, like my things a certain way and love to cook?

Well as I have watch the seasons I have slowly realized THAT I am def NOT her! LOL I know is stupid but I can bet ya that most people identify with one character or another. Am I right? Specially if you love FRIENDS.

But now I know I am def a Rachel. Cause Phoebe is out the question. LOL

SL Life so fa...

Alright peeps, I have to update, although all the people that I think read this are my two roomies, I am still going to do it for me. Things surprisingly are going awesome. Well, with a few exceptions. I did find a job, after TWO weeks. The place is called ... not sure if I should disclose this online. some creep might come and hunt me down! LOL so lets just keep it on "I have a Job". Yay for me! I am a proud Funding Manager! Me liky the title! LOL As always (and it will never change) I miss my famila. They are my rock basically! I talk to them all the time, and although we are miles apart we connect. Thanks for technology we are able to stay in touch.
I love Utah weather, it could not please me more, that we still have cold days here! :) Ya know, me and my weirdness, but I do LOVE IT!!!
I have been going to church, WOW, LOL I do go to church. :) Sometimes, ONLY sometimes, I am a slacker! :(
Anyways I have had some seriously funny situations with boys! Not that I am planning on that but I have had them.
My first Sunday I browsed around, you know, checking boys out and decide who would be my target! LOL Like my roomies say: my EC = Eternal Companion! LOL (I do have an EC but I believe he is taken at the moment). Well that Sunday I think I found that target! :)
The next Sunday we decided to check the earlier meeting and guess what? He attends that meeting. Well we go to Sunday school and he was all the way in the back and we where in the front, all I could think was 'That guy is SO HOT!' Well, time goes by and then he raises his hand to give a though about what they where talking and I wa just blown away by his hotness. When he finished talking I turn around and express my deep feelings to my roommate Sam. I say: He is SOOO HOOOT!!! and when I look up there was this other cute guy staring at me and smiles, the he whispers: Don't worry, I WONT say a thing! LOL and then he makes a heart with his hands and proceeds to break it! LOL he was sad cause I said the other guy was hot! What I should have said was: Don't worry you are really good looking too! But I was too red to even look at him again. He was really cute though! I think I am going to that ward!.

Last Sunday, We decide to go to the later meeting cause Sam wanted to join that one (NOT where the cute guys are! *Bummer*) we have sacrament, the new members meeting and we head out for relief society, the church president looks at us and says HI, he asked us if he had join the ward, Sam said yes, he said: You made a very wise decision. He asked me: How about you? I said: I am not sure yet! He said: (I don't really remember word by word but it does go along these lines). Why? Let me tell you. We have the best looking guys and they have a lot of money!
So... basically all lot of guys with money attend that ward. But I said: Well that's good but all I really care is to fall madly deeply in Love with someone, so... I really don't care about the money, if he has some then that's a bonus.
I guess he just smiled and said you are right or something like that. We then go to Relief Society and when we come out the president is talking to a good looking guy, the he looks at me and then he tells him: Have you met Lidia? She is new in the ward and then he leaves, and the guy just looks at me and he is like, nice to meet you you are going to love this ward! LOL I can believe the President wanted to hook me up with guys already just to get me in the ward!
Funny! But I still might want the earlier meeting, you know, HOT guy is there and CUTE guy too! :)

Yesterday night we went to watch 'Date Night' with my roommates and well... I loved it! It was so funny.
Part of me want to have a cute husband like that right now! :) WHERE is my EC???
I wanna talk about that but that will have its own post. My EC and me never settling.

Job Hunting!

Is the most depressing, crazy, undesirable thing on this planet! Ahhh I feel bad for the peeps that are in my position! Trying to find a good, well-paid, stable job. Thank goodness for Craigslist, Monster.com, Careerbuilder and such! without you, I would be heading to doom! Well... I am in it but I am confident ill find one soon! Is just a big headache, all I can do is blame the economy. I cannot even remember to how many jobs I have applied. Is crazy to think I am not good enough or cheap enough to be taken in consideration. They prefer people that would work for minimum wage instead of someone that can actually do the job right! Ahhhh again. ECONOMY!!!
So here I am sitting on the couch waiting for time to go by so I can go to my interviews, while searching for more job openings that would actually fit me!
We went out dancing yesterday with my roommies and I loved it! I danced my stress away and today I am fully confident I will get a GOOD JOB!!! :) LOL at least thats what I am trying to convince myself of!
The past two weeks have been SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO boring that I not only need a job for money but I need to be doing something too! I love my Vacation but it has to end! I WANT a Job I NEED a job.

Rodeo Fun

Ok So this is call Mutton Bustin' is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen! Loved it and could not stop laughin!!! :)



I think this is amazing!!!



And they have more competition, but those are my favorite ones! :)

A little bit of my fun at the Main Club! All you can see are hats!



and the last concert of Brooks and Dunn.

Rodeo Final

I am back after a week of not posting anything. I am here to finalize my Rodeo experience. So I told you the story about the HOT cowboys? Right? OK.

So... on Wednesday Amy told me if I wanted to go to the Rodeo again on Wednesday and maybe we could go to the boot place to see that guy again and maybe talk to him. So of course I Lidia Garcia said yes! I’ll go! I’ll be there! :) Yeehaw! LOL
So I stop to get a parking pass from Amy's mom and head to the place where I was going to meet Amy to go just in one car but to make a LONG story short. I apparently got the place messed up and she ended up going to the Rodeo and I was going to meet her there instead. I got lost, blah blah blah!!! I got there a little bit before the concert so I was unable to see him (hot cowboy). So then, we go to this bar to meet some of Amy's friends, we where waiting for the tickets for us to go to our seats, but as it turns out... We NEVER got them. So we had to stay at the bar. At this point I was completely disappointed about everything. LATE, NO TICKETS, NO HOT COWBOY, AT A BAR (I don’t even drink!), Amy talking to other people and I was left all alone in the middle of the bar, looking like a LOSER!!! LOL :( TRUE. Although... They have the most random fun simple things at the rodeo that I will be sharing with you later. So anyways, there I was all upset and looking like a loser at the screens to at least get to watch the concert from there, when this MAN comes up to me. Gets really close and tells me:

MAN: you look like you are having tons of fun! :)
ME: I look at him, kind of smile and think OMGosh WHAT DOES HE WANT??? I mean add the antisocial person that I am and me being upset; you can kind of get the picture I WAS NOT BY ALL MEANS HAPPY. Yes, sure he was trying to be nice and he was not a bad looking guy, but he could have been my dad, because he was that OLD and all I could think was Oh this night!!!
MAN: What are you doing here?
ME: Look at him again, and think, well he might be drunk (he didn’t look drunk, but that’s what I though) and he might not care what I tell him. So... LOL I start to VENT. LOL I tell him how crappy the night is, how I didn’t get to be where I wanted to be and how I will never be fit to find someone who will love me for ever and how sometimes I feel my life is going no where! LOL
MAN: Starts giving me this speech of how young and beautiful I am and that I am just stating a rollercoaster of heartbreaks and that the LOVE of my life WILL come and find ME and that my goals will be MY mans goals! It was so sweet!
ME: LOL I almost wanted to cry! He was telling me everything I needed to hear, he was lifting my spirit, he was listening to me and my feelings.
MAN: You know what? When are you coming back to the rodeo? I want to do something for you!
ME: Well on Saturday we are coming back, why?
MAN: I want to buy you the boots! I want you to call me on Saturday and buy you the boots! Under one condition and one condition ONLY
ME: I was shocked, this man wanted to buy me an $800.00 boots! WHY? What condition?
MAN: You have to ask that guy at the boot place to go out with you, you I have to tell him if he would like to go somewhere. And IF you do, Ill buy you the boots, you just call me and we will do it, so there is a pen and find some paper you are getting my number and you call me.
ME: Shocked, there was NO FREAKING WAY I would do such thing! LOL
MAN: I hope you call me.

OK, so there was more to this night but this is getting too long, it turns out he has A LOT, A LOT, A LOT of money and he was NOT DRUNK! LOL He was actually sober whenever he heard me, when he made me feel so much better and when he promised me the pair of boots! The night ended and at the end of the day, it was all worth it, not because of the boots, but because he actually cared about me. A complete stranger, out of no where cared about ME.
I went back on Saturday with plans of asking the HOT guy out. But he was not there. So I never called the man. But I will at least text him and thank him for his good heart! :)
Saturday nothing to amazing, I just dance with another cowboy country music and had lots of fun.

Lady Antebellum

All I can say is: WOW

They have Rodeo Games at the Arena and then the assemble the stage in a matter of seconds.

And then... LADY ANTEBELLUM

They where SO good! They sang my Wedding Song:

When you got a good thing

The Song I dedicate to him:

Need you now

(LOL you can hear me sing in the background!!!)

And the Song that made me Love them (Thank you Sam):

Run to you

And others from their new album. It was grand! Loved IT.

Cowboy Heaven, Yeehaw!!!

Yesterday Amy and I went to the Rodeo, This only happens once a year in Houston and all the cowboys from around the US and I think of the world gather here to compete. I think they also stop in San Antonio and Las Vegas. Anyways is a big deal. Well a lot of artist come down here and perform each day of the Rodeo and yesterday night was Lady Antebellum. Needless to say is was pretty much AMAZING. There where tons of people and HOT HOT HOT COWBOYS everywhere!!!

OMGosh! Let me tell you the story as to why I will never be fit to date! I am a freaking mess. Alright, so my friend wants to go to a store where there is a guy she liked and gave her his card at the cook-off. (Mind you they only sell cowboy stuff that I am not interested at all, well… maybe a few things.) The Cowboy boots started at $800.00 so that is pretty much insane judging by the fact that I would probably never wear them unless of course I marry a cowboy and live in a farm and do cowboyish stuff. LOL

Back to the story, so we go inside the store and walk around pretending to look at stuff just so she could find the guy she wanted to talk to. We keep walking around and then she tells me, there he is. I could not find him for the life of me. He was getting lost in all the boots and purses and hats and buckles. LOL Unfortunately he was helping some lady and she didn’t want to bug. At this point we move to a small room where I found some pretty amazing rubber boots. Suddenly this HOT HOT HOT Cowboys walks up to me and tells me: Are you interested in boots and then PANIC cause he is so amazingly hot and I just smile and nod my head. Amy then tells him that I am interested in the rubber boots, but that my concern was if they would work in snow!!! LOL (witch is true; I had asked her that a few minutes earlier.) He then looks at me, smiles, gets closer to me, he keeps smiling and then he laughs. LOL

He’s like: Well… they are made for water for I don’t see why they would not work in snow, why are you worried about that?
Me: The Stupid Shocked Idiot who was still amazed by his hotness, tells him: I am moving to Utah, I smile, I move back and forth, I am super nervous and can hardly make eye contact.
Hot Cowboy: Oh :( looks into my eyes (of course I melt) and says: That is a BIG BIG Shame.
Me: Look into his eyes smile and smile some more. (He was hot!)
Hot cowboy: keeps making eye contact and tells me if I want something to drink?
Me: Nah I don’t drink.
Hot cowboy: touches my arm and makes eye contact again! He would not stop looking at me!
Me: In SHOCK, Hot can this hot hot cowboy be interested in me? (Did I mention he was hot? Or maybe all the cowboyness in him was radiating like a star! LOL)
Hot Cowboy: Are you sure you don’t want anything? (At this point he completely forgets about boots and selling stuff to me!) It was only him trying to talk to me some more.
Amy: Alright we have to go.
Me: I get all like: oh oh ok! I guess :(
Hot cowboy: looks into my eyes again (of course I melt again). Makes a sad face and tells me: If you change your mind, come again.

So we go, and then this other hot cowboy (who was NOT as hot as the other one) comes around like a few minutes after that and proceeds to say: Oh pretty ladies, how are ya’ll tonight? We tell him we are fine and of course the same nervous dance kicks in and makes me look like a fool. He smiles, but this time he goes straight to the point, he looks at me and tells me: are you single? I look at him in shock for been so forward, smile and say YES! And then he tells Amy, are you single too? And of course she says YES! LOL He said would one of you go out in a date with me? Then he hugs us and starts talking for a little while. We never talked about boots, except at the end, LOL when I disappointed him and told him I didn’t see the purpose in getting super expensive boots! Anywho, we never talked to the other guy that she was really interested in and actually missed out on other two that where interested in us. Oh men they where so hot! But ill be going back this Saturday! A date with once of those cute (no, let me rephrase that!) HOT cowboys would NOT be bad at all. Who knows and he is the one and I’ll have to buy the super expensive boots to live my cowboy life. LOL