I Must be Doing Something Wrong!

Because 2009 has NOT being nice to me at all, and not only 2009 but the Big man up there! and like I said, I MUST def have done some bad in the world cause Karma is out to get me! It seems like my tears wont fix my problems, it seems like my feelings of needing to change wont fix it either. Then I wonder if I need to be perfect to deserve something good in life. My heart aches like there is no tomorrow and I have only me to blame. I love like I need that tomorrow in order to survive. It seems like what ever I do in life does not and will not bring me happiness. I am stuck, I have been stuck and I feel like I want to be somewhere else. Become someone else and finally understand why am I here. What do I have to do, in order to be seen, in order to be wanted. I just feel like I need a very long long run and just run only to exfoliate pain. Because if I just sit down my mind will only focus on how my heart suffers. Where are we going to find the strength to fight back, to be strong, to be happy and find the way. How can I find happiness if is denied. It's on restrictive access. The mirror tells me there is emptiness in my eyes.