Ahhh!

I scream at the top of my lungs while I am driving, Does it help??? YES
I sing at the top of my lungs, while I drive, while a blow dry my hair, while I am at the shower, Does it help??? YES
I cry like a baby when I get mad, Does it help??? YES
I dream to much cause reality sucks, Does it help??? YES
I make I wish anytime I can, Does it Help??? YES
I love to drive fast, Does it help??? YES
I find happiness in life simple pleasures (the cherry on top of my cherrylimede, the curb I take at 50mph instead of 30mph, when i wake up and look at the mirror and find out i actually don't look that bad, the pumpkin spice smell in my car, etc. you get the pic!), Does it help??? YES
I love my family and I know they love me, Does it help??? YES
I go crazy and I get inspired by techno and classical music, Does it help??? YES
I never put my feet on the ground because earth sucks, Does it help??? YES
BUT...
Why after all of that wonderfulness my heart still aches? Because I do recognize I AM impatient, I do not have that virtue. I just want things to get fixed, I DO BELIEVE they can and that's why I try to calm myself with life pleasures!

Learning to let go!

Joseph B. Wirthlin was by far one of my fav and will still be. I find inspiration in all he said. 'Come What May, and Love It'! what an extraordinary thought! The first thing we can do is learn to laugh. As we look for humor, seek for the eternal perspective, understand the principle of compensation, and draw near to our Heavenly Father, we can endure hardship and trial. As you may know I am going thru a really hard time in my life, where nothing seems possible! I try really hard to see the best in me but i can not. I try to be positive but gravity keeps dragging me down! I don't see a purpose on my daily emptiness and how I hurt! But when I remember this words, I see the light! I just have to let go! let go and free it!

I Must be Doing Something Wrong!

Because 2009 has NOT being nice to me at all, and not only 2009 but the Big man up there! and like I said, I MUST def have done some bad in the world cause Karma is out to get me! It seems like my tears wont fix my problems, it seems like my feelings of needing to change wont fix it either. Then I wonder if I need to be perfect to deserve something good in life. My heart aches like there is no tomorrow and I have only me to blame. I love like I need that tomorrow in order to survive. It seems like what ever I do in life does not and will not bring me happiness. I am stuck, I have been stuck and I feel like I want to be somewhere else. Become someone else and finally understand why am I here. What do I have to do, in order to be seen, in order to be wanted. I just feel like I need a very long long run and just run only to exfoliate pain. Because if I just sit down my mind will only focus on how my heart suffers. Where are we going to find the strength to fight back, to be strong, to be happy and find the way. How can I find happiness if is denied. It's on restrictive access. The mirror tells me there is emptiness in my eyes.