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Friday, 29 January 2010

Grief.

So today I was listening to the radio, a very familiar story was told, in a very familiar situation. This person was in love with a girl who was getting married to a man she didn't love, all because she's been push by family and society, because he is a better catch than the man she loves. The wedding is this weekend. This person called to get advice, as what to do. A lot of people called in to give their opinion. I teared, because in a way, it felt like they where talking to me, like they where talking to him. I could not believe that more people than what I though have gone and are going thru the same thing as I have. We mortals are so common . We all deal with the same thing. History repeats over and over again. All because we don't have the balls to actually fight for what we believe is right!
We have to be strong and fight to be stronger in those times when we feel the world is on us.
Have you ever seen Grey's Anatomy and felt like it was talking to you? Well I constantly do. Let me share this with you:
Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone.
It isn't just death we have to grieve. It's life. It's loss. It's change.
And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad. The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime.
That's how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can't breathe, that's how you survive. By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much.
Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way. So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty.
The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can't control it. The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes. And let it go when we can.
The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again. And always, every time, it takes your breath away.
There are five stages of grief. They look different on all of us, but there are always five.Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.

Finally this.
So lets just grief till we have to and then... MOVE ON.



Tuesday, 26 January 2010

Somethimes...

I think my life is hard, that the pain I feel is incredible and that no one feels the same. Sometimes I wish numbness. I think, why me? why this pain? why did you let this happen? Why, why, why and will this ever end?
And then, I come across something like this and I cry... and then, I am grateful.
Even the best people, the ones who we think don't deserve it, even them, hurt. Just like me. It does not matter, we all suffer regardless if we deserve it or not. So we have to find a way to look at the "Bigger" picture! :)

Thursday, 7 January 2010

Bye Bye 2009!!!

I am about 25 days late, to tell 2009 you freaking sucked!!! Well... Not really! :) I guess I am taking it too far by saying that, but some times I think you did!

It was a hard year but a fun one none the less.

- I got to go to Guatemala, Utah, San Diego and Dallas (Like a bunch of times).

- I got to be with my family



-Baby Diego was born! the most wonderful addition to this crazy family!



- I had weird stuff happen to me


- I got to spend money! LOL you know! living with the parental units, lets you spend all that possible rent money! :)


- Got to experience LOVE all over again


- Got My heartbroken ALL over again. :) (Keeping a positive attitude)


- Snow in Texas


- Working on Fixing my credit! :)


- Saying goodbye to my lovely Jeep Liberty :'( I honestly cried when I had to leave it. It felt like I was living part of who I was! so I did, I did cry! :( and I still miss it very much...


BUT...

2010 Started with good things! So... Ill leave the past in the past and look forward to a brand new year full of mysteries and adventures.